The Beam and the Speck of Marriage
Tuesday, October 8, 2024
By Claudio Consuegra, DMin
Scripture: “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 42How can you say to your brother, "Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye," when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye” (Luke 6:41-42, ESV)
Observation: In chapter 6, Luke records the beginning of Jesus’ ministry. Here we read of two controversies which revolved around the Sabbath and the Jewish traditions about its observance, the call of the twelve disciples, Jesus healing the multitude, and a shortened version of the Sermon on the Mount than that found in Matthew.
In this chapter, Jesus speaks of how His disciples should live in relationship to other people. In vss.27-36 Jesus teaches how we should relate toward our enemies, in vss. 37-42 about judging others, in vss. 43-45 about the fruit His disciples should bear, and in vss.46-49 Jesus closes with the parable of the men who built their house either on the rock or on the sand.
Today’s passage deals specifically about the attitude of faultfinding so prevalent in human nature. From the very beginning, when Adam and Eve ate of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, when God confronted them with what they had done Adam pointed the finger at Eve – and indirectly toward God who created her for him, and in turn Eve turned her finger toward the serpent.
Application: many marriages, which begin in a most selfless, loving way, turn into a sport of mutual criticism. Husbands find every reason to find fault in their wife, comparing her to other women. As an example, Ellen White writes about such men: “Many husbands do not sufficiently understand and appreciate the cares and perplexities which their wives endure, generally confined all day to an unceasing round of household duties. They frequently come to their homes with clouded brows, bringing no sunshine to the family circle. If the meals are not on time, the tired wife, who is frequently housekeeper, nurse, cook, and housemaid, all in one, is greeted with faultfinding” (The Adventist Home, p.224).
Wives express little appreciation for their husbands and fail to affirm them for anything they do for them or for their home. They berate them for not making enough money home, for not being able to fix things around the house, and for many other things they don’t like in their husband. They think that is they nag them enough it will encourage theri husbands to do more and be better. “The steady dripping of rain and the nagging of a wife are one and the same” Proverbs 27:15 (CEV).
Here’s good counsel for those tempted to find fault in their spouse: “The heart of his wife should be the grave for the faults of the husband, and the heart of the husband the grave for his wife's faults. Never should either party indulge in a joke at the expense of the other's feelings. Never should either the husband or wife in sport or in any other manner complain of each other to others, for frequently indulging in this foolish and what may seem perfectly harmless joking will end in trial with each other and perhaps estrangement. I have been shown that there should be a sacred shield around every family” (Ibid, p.177).
Jesus made clear: When you have a beam sticking out of your own eye, how can you possibly tell your spouse about the speck of dust in their own eye? It is a ridiculous proposition! White’s advice is so much more practical and positive: “Let the husband and wife talk things all over together. Renew the early attentions to each other, acknowledge your faults to each other, but in this work be very careful that the husband does not take it upon himself to confess his wife's faults or the wife her husband's. Be determined that you will be all that it is possible for you to be to each other, and the bonds of wedlock will be the most desirable of ties. {HP 203.4}
A Prayer you May Say: Father, please help me see the beam in my own eye before I stare at the speck of dust in my spouse’ eye. Help me to look for what is good and right and praiseworthy in their life and ignore the things that cause me to look at them in a negative light. Help me to appreciate my spouse for all they bring into my life and for being Your gift to me.
Observation: In chapter 6, Luke records the beginning of Jesus’ ministry. Here we read of two controversies which revolved around the Sabbath and the Jewish traditions about its observance, the call of the twelve disciples, Jesus healing the multitude, and a shortened version of the Sermon on the Mount than that found in Matthew.
In this chapter, Jesus speaks of how His disciples should live in relationship to other people. In vss.27-36 Jesus teaches how we should relate toward our enemies, in vss. 37-42 about judging others, in vss. 43-45 about the fruit His disciples should bear, and in vss.46-49 Jesus closes with the parable of the men who built their house either on the rock or on the sand.
Today’s passage deals specifically about the attitude of faultfinding so prevalent in human nature. From the very beginning, when Adam and Eve ate of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, when God confronted them with what they had done Adam pointed the finger at Eve – and indirectly toward God who created her for him, and in turn Eve turned her finger toward the serpent.
Application: many marriages, which begin in a most selfless, loving way, turn into a sport of mutual criticism. Husbands find every reason to find fault in their wife, comparing her to other women. As an example, Ellen White writes about such men: “Many husbands do not sufficiently understand and appreciate the cares and perplexities which their wives endure, generally confined all day to an unceasing round of household duties. They frequently come to their homes with clouded brows, bringing no sunshine to the family circle. If the meals are not on time, the tired wife, who is frequently housekeeper, nurse, cook, and housemaid, all in one, is greeted with faultfinding” (The Adventist Home, p.224).
Wives express little appreciation for their husbands and fail to affirm them for anything they do for them or for their home. They berate them for not making enough money home, for not being able to fix things around the house, and for many other things they don’t like in their husband. They think that is they nag them enough it will encourage theri husbands to do more and be better. “The steady dripping of rain and the nagging of a wife are one and the same” Proverbs 27:15 (CEV).
Here’s good counsel for those tempted to find fault in their spouse: “The heart of his wife should be the grave for the faults of the husband, and the heart of the husband the grave for his wife's faults. Never should either party indulge in a joke at the expense of the other's feelings. Never should either the husband or wife in sport or in any other manner complain of each other to others, for frequently indulging in this foolish and what may seem perfectly harmless joking will end in trial with each other and perhaps estrangement. I have been shown that there should be a sacred shield around every family” (Ibid, p.177).
Jesus made clear: When you have a beam sticking out of your own eye, how can you possibly tell your spouse about the speck of dust in their own eye? It is a ridiculous proposition! White’s advice is so much more practical and positive: “Let the husband and wife talk things all over together. Renew the early attentions to each other, acknowledge your faults to each other, but in this work be very careful that the husband does not take it upon himself to confess his wife's faults or the wife her husband's. Be determined that you will be all that it is possible for you to be to each other, and the bonds of wedlock will be the most desirable of ties. {HP 203.4}
A Prayer you May Say: Father, please help me see the beam in my own eye before I stare at the speck of dust in my spouse’ eye. Help me to look for what is good and right and praiseworthy in their life and ignore the things that cause me to look at them in a negative light. Help me to appreciate my spouse for all they bring into my life and for being Your gift to me.
Used by permission of Adventist Family Ministries, North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.
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